Disclaimer: this blog has nothing to with blow jobs, thx.

rnikan:

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

idiotbh:

Amsterdam? more like Amsterdamn

image

memeguy-com:

Someone added this to the periodic table in their chemistry book

memeguy-com:

Someone added this to the periodic table in their chemistry book

fruitpacks:

it takes all of my energy to read a post thats more than 2 sentences

octoroc:

when guys complain about getting friendzoned

image

i hate when i lose things at school like my pencils and papers and life ambitions

autulin:

erens-bitch:

erens-bitch:

based on

I made this aT like 3 am stop rEBLOGGING THIS I DON’T WANT TO BE KNOWN AS THE SNK PENIS SONG BLOG

THERE ARE TEARS

phlegminism:

"Are you a Sailor Scout?"
"I’m sailor Freddy Mercury."

phlegminism:

"Are you a Sailor Scout?"

"I’m sailor Freddy Mercury."

merriamwebsterdictionary:

reasons why winter is better than summer:

  • little to no insects (◕‿◕✿) 
  • sweaters all the time (◠△◠✿)
  • the air is nice and fresh smelling (◡‿◡✿)
  • sometimes it snows and you get out of school \(◕‿◕✿)/
  • snow is pretty (´・ω・`)
  • no pollen (▰˘◡˘▰) 
  • it gets darker faster so theres more nighttime and more time to look at the stars (ᅌᴗᅌ* )
  • everything is dead just the way i like it (⊙‿⊙✿)

lexicution3r:

lexicution3r:

my mom is scREAMING downstairs right now about how there’s no chocolate.

“How can we NOT HAVE CHOCOLATE IN THIS HOUSE?”

“How is there NO CHOCOLATE???”

“DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT WE HAVE A WHALE HANGING FROM THE CEILING BUT THERE’S NO CHOCOLATE?”

image

actionables:

I did a thing.

©